Today, apparently, is the day I lose everything. No, literally. I cant find the remote to the tv, and out of sheer laziness, I've been stuck watching infomercials all morning. Hey, dont judge, you wouldnt want to stand and manually surf through 100 channels either! On top of that, I cant find my darn USB cable, and I'm starting to think that Jon packed it with him.
Well, if you're reading this, then you know my Jon has left on deployment. Obviously it takes an incredibly strong woman (or man, if your wife is in the Navy) to say goodbye to your best friend for months on end, and go about life totally alone, and I'm starting to doubt whether or not I really belong to this elite group of people. A couple weeks before he left, I started getting upset. When I told my manager that I would be late for work because he was leaving and I had plans to go down to the pier and watch him leave, I started to cry. Whenever I thought about having to say goodbye to him, I would start crying. The morning of, my stomach was in knots. I had to wake up at 3:45 in the morning since we had to leave the house at 5am. We went and had breakfast at Ihop, I picked on some pancakes and that was about it. We made small talk, it was kind of awkward. On the way to the base, I asked him if we could just turn around and go back home. I knew he wouldnt, but it was worth a shot!
When we got there, we got on the ship and kind of walked around for a minute, we saw one of the women who works with Jon, I dont know what her real name is, Jon always refers to her as LS1, so thats what I know her as! She said "there is no crying allowed today, I know as soon as soon as we leave, Jon will start crying. Lisa, how are you holding up?" I managed a little "I'm ok" squeak. LIE! Jon said he had to spend the next 7 months on the ship, so he wanted to wait on the pier. We got off the ship and walked down to the end of the pier, hand in hand. Oh good grief! I'm started to get choked up! We took a few pictures, I didnt want to be in too many, red eyes, make-up down my face and a red nose is not such an attractive look, ya know? At this point it was about 10 to 7, and he had to be on the ship by 7. He went over the list of things for me to remember to do "close the garage, make sure all the doors are locked before you go to bed, trash day is Wednesday"...that kind of stuff. Then he hugged and kissed me for the last time, and told me to wait right there, he was going to change into his uniform and then he would come out and stand on the part of the ship that was close to where I was on the pier. That was the longest 10 minutes of my life! He came out and we just stood there, didnt say anything, I really couldnt say anything, even if I wanted to. Then it was time for them to go to their positions, or whatever. Jon was up high, and I was still able to see him, but he was awfully far away. We texted back and forth, little things like "having fun yet?" Then the XO got on the intercom and said something about everyone needed to line the rails, or something like that. And then all the sailors moved to the edges of the ship and lined up all nice, just like in the commercials - 
Thats an actual picture I took, Jon is in there! I know which one he is, but its hard to describe his location! They slowly started to pull away, and the tears started pouring. Its more of a helpless feeling than anything else. I felt like, I wanted to say one more thing to him, or hug him one more time, and no matter what I did, no matter how badly I wanted it, that was it. Thats it for the next 7 months. Thats what I struggle with the most. After I watched them leave, I headed in for work. I did ok, I think. I got upset throughout the day, but all in all, I think I held it together pretty well. Coming home is a whole different story. I walked through the door and his shoes were still laying on the floor where he left them, dishes still in the sink, our pictures on the wall...I just fell apart. We've emailed each other several times and I've spoken to him a couple times. I love hearing from him, but it breaks my heart every time. Hanging up the phone is always hard. But, I signed up for this, so I need to be strong and make the best of it.
Oh, I would like to take a moment and rub something into everyone's faces- my brother is the best brother ever. No if's, and's or but's about it. Dont try to argue, dont try to tell me all the great things your brother (if you have one) has done. It wont add up, there's no competition. My real dad doesnt count as a real man, my brother took over the position of "man of the house" at a very early age, and he's turned into the most remarkable young man ever. He called me yesterday just to say hi and to see how I was doing. After we hung up, he sent me, probably the single greatest text message I've ever gotten in my life. This is what it says:
IN-YOUR-FACE. LOL, as I sit here all choked up. Told ya, you cant compare with that. Joey, if you see this, dont get mad at me. I want the world to know how wonderful you are and how lucky I am to have you as my brother. I love you more than words can describe!!
Ok my loves, I'm going to end this blog with a series of pictures. Hope you enjoy!
Our last family picture for 7 months. 
The #1 man in my life. My best friend in the world. My reason to live everyday and deal with the struggles I deal with. Jon Lockett, you are my whole world.
See ya later, alligators.
Meet the one and only, Joe DiFabio. Yes, this is my darling younger brother!
